What are you doing to prepare?

Janneke
Feb 27, 2020
9 min read

So I know I'm not the only one who had this marvellous hopeful thought "Joseph Smith is going to be there!" when President Nelson announced the April General Conference bicentennial celebrations of Joseph Smith's First Vision. I know I'm not the only one because my husband had a conversation with another young guy who said exactly the same thing. I'm sure we can't be the only two people, two saints, two members of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints who got excited that if we take the opportunity: to study and prepare, we might see if not with our physical eyes but at the very least, our spiritual self might see Joseph Smith. Upon sharing this excitement with my husband he responded matter of factly "He's probably at all the general conferences anyway". Hmmm good point but that's not my point - this is my shot, my opportunity and it felt like the spirit sending me that hope and that thrilling thought. I can be schooled on if that was the spirit or not but I know I didn't make that up, that thought came to me. It was a confirmation to my husband that one other person in the world thought like I did also.

"Select your own questions. Design your own plan." said President Nelson in order to prepare for the celebration of the day the heavens being reopened.

"Act on any of these invitations to prepare yourself for sharing the important messages of the ongoing Restoration. As you seek Jesus Christ in these efforts, God will prepare you to receive further light. It is your personal preparation that will help April’s general conference become for you not only memorable but unforgettable. The time to act is now. This is a hinge point in the history of the Church, and your part is vital."

I can't help but see in my mind's eye, scenes like the dedication of the Kirtland temple and so I want to do my part. I'm not sure how that can happen from my lounge floor with some tutu children drawing or building Lego temples, whilst, hopefully, being attentive to something from conference.

In my study of the dedication of the Kirtland temple I love that no one had to miss out. Let me contradict myself now, people literally had to miss out, there was only so much room for Saints to find seats within the Kirtland temple, someone also had to stay home and look after the children but those who had faithfully prepared were not denied the marvellous manifestations of heavenly beings and a witness from the Holy Ghost; those who were outside had the opportunity to see angels descend on the temple - what a cool witness to be left out but not left out!

As a side note but completely relevant - I love primary! I do not love being with adults in Sunday School or Relief Society and I don't feel left out for serving our children, the spirit is always present because kids will be honest and let you know that you're dumb and boring and primary sucks! Its moments like these that I love because I can only call on the help of the Saviour for inspiration through the Holy Ghost to connect with a challenging but honest child or a sulking child, or a nervous child or a stubborn child. Adults are not so forth coming. The thing with children's honestly is - that when the opposite happens, when the spirit touches them and they suddenly feel love for Joseph Smith or Nephi or sadness for the suffering of Jesus Christ, our primary children will reflect it to you, their faces fill with light and love, their body language changes and it's those moments, when I get to help them know, that they are feeling the spirit, it's those moments that make primary service rich and fulfilling and so much better than any adult classes offer me. The witness to those outside the Kirtland Temple has been a witness to me for quite a while now that God does not forget us, whether we are in a corridor with a noisy child, serving primary where announcements and invitations don't come or watching conference in our homes not at the conference centre.

I will admit that the when President Nelson said "We invite you to be a major part in sharing the message of the ongoing Restoration of the Saviour’s gospel. We will share more about this soon, but you can start today by acting on the invitations I extended to you at last general conference to immerse yourself in the glorious light of the Restoration.” I felt nervous. Yet here Sharon and I are starting a page dedicated to the 200 year anniversary of the first vision and the joy it brings us and the joy we've found others have recorded because of Josephs experiences. Somehow by studying the restoration and book of Mormon daily - we can't help ourselves.

I made some plans. I read Saints Volume 1 and I'm reading Saints Volume 2 with the goal to finish before the next conference. (When I say read I read or listen to the audio while I wash dishes or fold washing). It's fantastic, heart wrenching and challenging at times seeing the ugly truth of early church members choices towards each other and towards indigenous or blacks. My husband is rereading Saints. We made a plan to invite our children to make preparations. One of our sons couldn't concentrate on reading so the spirit told him to read the children's Doctrine and Covenants reader to prepare and he has some cool questions and musings from that study like "how did John [the beloved] come/arrive " to bestow the priesthood on Oliver Cowdery and Joseph Smith because he is still a translated being? Hmmm, I don't know but that's a cool question!

We home school, this is our third year so we're getting better at it. Every morning we hold Come Follow Me study; the girls are all primary age and younger so I take them and our teenage boys go with their Father because one of my teenagers can't listen if he's with me. I have made a conscious effort to look for ways to teach about the first vision and about Joseph Smith. Something interesting happened - the Lord had already built Joseph into the Book of Mormon. It's possible that Isaiah was prophesying of him. (There is a great short article on this at Book of Mormon Central.) It gave us the great opportunity to look at a picture and tell stories of these prophets lives and how they testified of Jesus Christ before and after Jesus was on the earth.

The girls mostly tolerate me trying to teach them but the thing they really love, especially our 6 year old daughter is the short clip of Joseph Smith entering the grove, praying (good news, I insist on ruining their short screen time experience by reading the prophet Josephs' words to them also). They are attentive and our six year old regularly asks to watch this - even on her computer turn she will currently watch first and play games second. I am grateful to be an assistant teacher to this good media.

I particularly like a different media clip of the first vision, created for the church history museum from across the nine written accounts of Joseph Smiths first vision . Our six year old doesn't like it, it doesn't give her happy warm feelings, just lots of questions about the devil making it hard for Joseph to pray. That's precisely what I appreciate about this media clip; the inclusion of the battle/wrestle Joseph had before the light came.

Fairly recently I found myself in the grip of a panic attack. I knew what was happening but I couldn't stop it. My body was filled with fear, darkness felt like it was setting in around me. It was the middle of a bright sunny afternoon and I was at home alone - which was supposed to be a good thing, a little bit of space to tidy up, make dinner, study something I enjoyed, while my husband and the kids headed to the beach but the alone time grew suddenly, intensely alone. The alone overwhelmed me. All I could do was pray. I sank to my knees, afraid to shut my eyes and become further alone in darkness. I prayed, silently and aloud - eyes wide open. I knew I wasn't alone, I felt hope and the warmth of the Saviour in the sunlight, my faith was too weak to move from my spot, despite the hope I was feeling, so I prayed until my family came home. What I realised in that moment was this was what Joseph experienced - at least an inkling of it. The exertion of darkness forcing its way into every part of my mind and being while battling for light, freedom and hope in Christ.

I have an affinity for Joseph. I always have. It was memories of Joseph that got me through my second pace maker insertion. Before 18, you're knocked out to sleep through the entire procedure then wake up dopy, hoping you still have your right leg! After 18 a pacemaker replacement operation is performed awake, with a local anaesthetic , wrists and ankles strapped down to the narrow bed. Kindly the medical staff put a screen between my face and my chest - that was a relief! The last thing I wanted to see was a scalpel cutting into my flesh. I discovered however that I could see my reflection in the glass of the window between the operating theatre and some other room - again the screen worked wonders, I couldn't see anything gross or interesting; what I could see was the tears well up in my eyes with the sting of the first anaesthetic injected into the left side of my chest. I had four of these before I didn't feel the other injections stinging. It was a small and overwhelming moment when the sting brought tears to my eyes, I had declined the calming medication they offer in preference of breathing and praying and not really liking a whole lot of medication (I was nursing a three month old at the time and not keen on potentially contaminating my milk and drugging my child accidentally). In this tear welling moment, Joseph came to my mind's eye. I saw the film version of him biting down on a piece of wood and his father holding him while surgeons cut into him, then sawed and chiselled his bone. I chided myself "you are such a wuss! Joseph Smith was only five and didn't have anything". A nurse asked me if I was OK? "Yep" I affirmed. Interestingly at the end of my surgery another nurse remarked, I was the calmest patient they had ever seen. Joseph has been a standard bearer for me through many of life's' challenges, I often remind myself that my challenge is not what Joseph faced.

My opportunity to prepare for this celebratory April conference and to share will not be laced with the same opposition that Joseph Smith and early converted saints faced. I will not have to dam and re dam a river in order to be baptised because haters destroy my preparations. I do not anticipate being tarred and feathered in the night while my babies have measles. I will however experience opposition in my preparation, after all it is only through opposites that we can really experience joy and elation and peace. I will have to make sacrifices of time to study what I need too. I will have to overcome fear in order to share the joy I have in our Father Elohim and his son Jesus Christ opening the heavens again for continual revelation through their chosen Prophets, Seers and Revelators in these latter and last days. I will have my daily battles with the devil in order to recognise truth over truth mingled with doctrines of men (humans). As I pray and ask for help with sincerity to receive the blessings I seek at this upcoming conference, I will look to the example Joseph Smith provided for me, of continually trying, learning to overcome the fear of men instead of God and repenting and trying again.